Viewing Member - ReturnofOz
ReturnofOz's Recent Statuses
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Wed, 16-Nov-16 10:11 PM (7 years ago)
Sculpting a revenge body is just such a great time. 4 stone lost so far *smirky emoji*
shy_professor, KiwiPic, bOObzman, mermaid_hunter69, LuLusBakery and 3 others, nosanity, ohbella and Burger80 like this
oh you guysss this isn't a revenge body after a break up though, more like a revenge body for everyone who has never fancied me xox
(7 years ago)
Wed, 3-Aug-16 8:05 PM (7 years ago)
When you nearly crash your car because you're playing with the D.
Sat, 4-Jun-16 3:21 PM (7 years ago)
The worst has happened and my flatmate has signed me up to an online dating site. Like, not even tinder. It's for actual adults. Pls no.
sakman and gavdparker like this
Thu, 12-May-16 8:29 PM (7 years ago)
If you have ever sent me a message about a "tribute", I just need you to know that the only thing I'm thinking about is Tenacious D. If you know, you know.
"This is not a cum soaked pic, this is just a tribute"
(7 years ago)
Sat, 2-Apr-16 10:13 PM (8 years ago)
When bushofire is snoring so loudly and taking up your whole bed you gotta go sleep in your flatmate's bed - *shatters 1000 NN women's images of bush*
I hear the best way to stop him snore is to apply a soft pillow with heavy pressure to the general area. He should stop after a few minutes
(8 years ago)
MarkandLacey likes this
That is not snoring. That is a dream jake brake. he must be having a wet dream and is trying to slow down. lol
(8 years ago)
Sat, 12-Mar-16 9:27 PM (8 years ago)
Good news is I've lost 1st 2lbs in 5 weeks. Bad news is my boobies are disappearing.
FudgeGuy likes this
Wed, 3-Feb-16 11:05 PM (8 years ago)
Dudes, I just started slimming world. Watch out for the hottest version of Oz coming to your filthy minds soon.
Just do what you want to feel good for YOU. Your fans know you're hot as hell no matter what! I've perved for you many times as you are.
(8 years ago)
indaeye, MyaGirl, Texastexas89, lynskey, Gleam_Scene and 4 others, DarkAries, kimberly_1229, big buck hunter and thetripod83 like this
Sat, 23-Jan-16 12:52 PM (8 years ago)
Operation get a boyfriend by Valentine's Day is going just as well as last year. Dominos for one, then?
i simply refuse to believe you cant find someone, you are surely looking on the wrong places! chin up dear, you still have 3 weeks!
(8 years ago)
Sun, 6-Dec-15 9:20 AM (8 years ago)
I haven't had sex in like, 5 months. I don't know whether to cry or pat myself on the back for lasting this long.
I read that profile name ^^^ as "manbooblover" at first and thought well, that's sure different.
(8 years ago)
PhuckMyEyes likes this
Sun, 8-Nov-15 10:05 PM (8 years ago)
More heartbroken over losing my Tiffany & co bracelet I was given for my 21st than any breakup. Brb just standing on a street corner to afford a replacement xox
Sat, 31-Oct-15 10:00 AM (8 years ago)
For Halloween I suggest you stay dressed exactly as you are and when people ask, you say "I'm a cunt" *sassy hair flick*
super4, Rollersquirrel, cumingattraction, Ampersands, DoWhatYouWish and 2 others, Captdownhole and gavdparker like this
Wed, 28-Oct-15 11:33 AM (8 years ago)
Day 2 of doctors signing me off work and all I want to do is make a duvet den and have sex all day
Sun, 25-Oct-15 3:30 AM (8 years ago)
Sooooo i went out with 5 of my best friends and I've come home early because they've all pulled and nobody wants me. Seriously. Am I that repulsive that nobody wants me? world, swallow me up pls.
The least they coulda done was offer a threesome, right? Friends share, after all, right?
(8 years ago)
Well I'd of been all over oz! In a none creepy and perverted way. Save that for bedroom! I'm a gentleman after all.
(8 years ago)
Sat, 24-Oct-15 5:00 PM (8 years ago)
New hair, fresh nails, tidy room and the best girl gang to drink tequila and dance on bars with
lol guitar...I can't imagine that..last time I wanted to delete,I had to wait for my premium to lapse
(8 years ago)
and don't they send you a PM from support telling you who sent it.. and I know that guitar...NN has smartened up since then lol
(8 years ago)
Fri, 16-Oct-15 7:04 PM (8 years ago)
Where the fuck is my happy ending? Sick and tired of seeing everyone that's ever hurt me get what they want. Bye. *hair flick* *sobs into pillow*
Sat, 10-Oct-15 5:35 PM (8 years ago)
I got into a fight with a girl last night. Don't mess with someone that's fucked off with everyone and everything. Poor bitch.
Tue, 6-Oct-15 9:54 PM (8 years ago)
How do you delete someone from your life? Where's the button? I can't seem to find it.
Wed, 23-Sep-15 8:49 PM (8 years ago)
Going to Florida on Friday and I've got 2 bikinis packed. TWO MOTHERFUCKING BIKINIS. Haven't worn one of those buggers in public since I was about 10.
Ohioman_1979, steelrat60, gavdparker, 2muchphun, solorunner and 5 others, heydidyagrabmyass, PApda, birdmunone, wolf358 and Mailscum like this
where in florida U goin? U R more then welcome to come visit me
(8 years ago)
Tue, 8-Sep-15 8:09 PM (8 years ago)
You know you're over it when you're not arsed about social media stalking. Neeeexxxxxxttttttt.
Sun, 6-Sep-15 9:11 PM (8 years ago)
How many housemate points do I get if I whisk my lass away to Disneyland Paris for a surprise birthday present in November? I would do the equivalent for my boyfriend but we're both FOREVER ALONE.
Thu, 27-Aug-15 8:32 PM (8 years ago)
Any perves heading to Leeds fest? I'll be the drunk girl with big boobs and white docs \m/
captain_82, lustylulu2, hellokitty76, gringoire_illove, hornydan81 and 2 others, FudgeGuy and johnhorny like this
yay. drunk girls are easy fucks! some guy is gonna get lucky with your big boobs
(8 years ago)
Mon, 24-Aug-15 6:44 PM (8 years ago)
My fucking car has been broken into AGAIN! Life allows be to be content for about 2 weeks and then it fucks up all over again. Feeling very sorry for myself and very lost
Hello Oz xxoo..........not a good way to start a week off........ .......hope the rest turns out great.......... hug and kotc
(8 years ago)
Sun, 23-Aug-15 9:42 PM (8 years ago)
Bad thing about boys: they're dicks. Good thing about boys: their dicks.
ThePadrino, highfront, steelrat60, mysteries1984, badboyUK1981 and 3 others, 3somelvr, hornydan81 and birdmunone like this