I've lacked enthusiasm today, I woke up way to early and no matter how hard I tried couldn't get back to sleep again. So got up and headed for a coffee. Sitting in the still of the house my thoughts went over the list of things I needed to get done, I lacked all motivation for work today and once id drunk my coffee headed back up the stairs to bed again.
Crawling back under the covers I turn on my laptop, the glow lighting the room my mail box pinged bringing a smile to my face as I see Sir's name. I read it and realise his week is even more busy than mine. I quickly replied before sieving though my other mail.

I must have dozed off as I woke again a few hours later which then made me rush my first edge of the day. I got the feeling it was going to be one of them days

I'm frustrated and if I'm honest in a strop, My pussy aches from the what feels now like constant use. I so badly need no want to achieve a orgasm. It's no longer a need it's a pure basic want. I could so easily have one without Sir knowing and yet I don't. Instead I play on growing more frustrated, my thoughts seeking out other ways to calm the desire inside. I've found my wish list of toys growing the more deprived I am of an orgasm.

As the hours went past my mood didnt lift and once I got to a point where I wanted to just give up on the work project I headed upstairs to achieve my second edge of the day.Second edge completed it was back to work and my mind was totally not on it if anything the second edge had made me feel worst, I had so much I wanted to say to Sir at that point but couldn't I shot him a quick message just so he knew how much I wanted to cum now even though I knew I wouldn't be granted a reply straight away it eased my mind.
The rest of the day went much the same work was and still is eating away at me I'm not liking the project I've got on the go and will be relieved when it goes tomorrow. In fact roll on Saturday as Ive had enough with work now

I completed my third edge in the bath again tonight sitting listening to the rain on the roof, it matched my mood. I laid back and gently played with my pussy nothing else in my mind except the frustrations as my clit accepted the touch of my fingers, the invitation to become aroused, the hope that this might be the time that I let it release the built up orgasms.

I rubbed myself hard finding the spot that so easier leads to the pleasure I seek. I could take one orgasm one little orgasm right now no matter how unfulfilled it would be but I sigh as the pleasure rises I don't no I cant keep pushing myself today I physically think I will break from lack of a release. I stop playing knowing that I am letting Sir down but I cant do it my mood wont let me continue.

I wrote Sir a email as best as I could, here's to Friday being a much better and more focussed day after all a day of work and then its the weekend I do believe I may be purchasing another toy for the box

I found myself making excuses to escape without the kids for a hour purely so I could come back home and edge. I left them with their nan under the guise that I could get my shopping quicker without them.

I drove home the egg pulsing furiously away inside my wet pussy, it had been a awkward morning. The egg is quite a devious little toy and I'm not sure how I'm feeling about it now. I thought I would have control over it which I do to a certain extent but it reaches a point where my pussy takes over ignoring my pleas of stopping it pulses bringing the egg alive. It's all well and good at the beginning but once it's been in there for a while my pussy grows attached and takes its pleasure from the egg whenever it wants to, its not helped by the fact that every time my thoughts turn to you my pussy twitches sending a wave of pleasure though my body making my nipples that grow hard and erect.

Once home I went straight upstairs and undressed, I shuddered as I removed the egg and switched it off. It would go back in when I left again I didn't want to bother you and feared I might have been over thinking but to be on the safe side the egg would be replaced once I had edged only to be removed again once I was home properly.

I took out my breast bars and started to attach them to my tits, I shivered as the cold metal touched my skin making my already erect nipples tighten that bit more. I did the bars up tight my tits getting squeezed with every turn of the nuts. I then took out my anal beads lubed them and inserted them into my arse wriggling as each bead got fed into me.

I gently sat down on the bed and took out my little flogger and vibrator, I was already feeling quite aroused the fact I should be doing other mundane things added to my haste but didn't want to rush this edge or though I also didn't want to waste a minute.

I inserted the vibe this time leaving the clit part turned of and just switched the inner vibe on, it rotated around knocking against the anal beads that were pushing against it from inside my arse. I closed my eyes as I slowly moved with the vibe, hands clenched behind my back and eyes closed this time I let my body enjoy the feeling of being full, of being on display to who ever you would please to see me. I felt the need to be fucked creep back into my head and then my thoughts turned to your fist pushing into my aroused pussy, stretching it wide with every inch that you give it, feeling your knuckles as you twist them around inside.

I bit down on my lip and reached for the flogger, as much as I was desiring more from this edge I hadn't forgotten that I had disappointed you. I raised my hand and brought down the flogger onto the top of my thigh flinching as the lengths of leather stung my skin,, again I raised my hand bringing the flogger down a bit harder before raising my hand again to repeat each strike 5 times before moving on to my other thigh. My skin burnt I had to focus hard on the flood of sensations the flogger had caused, I looked down at my reddening skin and smiled seeing the marks.growing deeper the more I watched them. I grasped at the vibe pulling it out and then pushing it back in, in and out in and out my clit wanting so much more attention then I was giving it I switched on the rest of the vibe moaning as it connected with my clit. I clenched around it losing my focus for a moment the feelings grew stronger. I wanted to cum I wanted the release from the disappointment I was feeling, forcing myself to pick up the flogger again I gave each thigh another 5 strikes before taking the vibe from me and gaining control of my body somewhat to prepare for the removal of the anal beads and breast bar.

The bars came of next, red and engorged the skin tingling as the pressure was released and I dropped the bars to steady my breathing "I wouldn't cum" repeatedly going round in my head. Then came the task of the anal beads, standing up on shaky legs I reached around and with one quick pull removed the beads. My legs nearly giving way I lent over the bed gasping.

Edge 2 was complete.

This entry was going to be about the fact today makes 2 weeks since I last had an orgasm, that was until Sir reminded me of my failings in yesterday’s edge count so I thought it best to change it and incorporate not only mine but Sir's disappointment.

It's been 2 week since I last had an orgasm, I've gone through the frustration of wanting one to the actual enjoyment of not having one and am now right back to just down right needing one.
Why can't I orgasm yet? I still need to gain one more load of cum, seems such an easy thing to do and I thought I was on a roll last week when I managed to get 2 loads in a row but the 3rd is proving to be a pain in the backside.

My Sir was kind enough to lower the edgings to 3 which I agreed were much more obtainable and I had been doing a good job at maintaining them that was until I missed one on Sunday. I didn't set out to miss it I had had a hectic weekend with literally no sleep and I had already requested on Saturday due to the circumstances that instead of edging could I have my pussy filled instead all day with a vibe/dildo/object which Sir obliged to. So Sunday came I fulfilled 2 edges but the 3rd never came, I went to bed with my hand on my pussy and woke up with it still there having falling asleep. I confessed in my morning email and part of me expected some sort of punishment but another part also wanted Sir to let me off due to the weekend I had had.

Sleep evades me at times, I can go days getting no more than a couple of hours a night if I’m lucky and then as quick as it comes my sleep pattern starts getting longer and once I hit 5 hours a night I know its passing and I’m on the right track again.

There was no mention from Sir about the missing edge and I silently thanked him. But then yesterday happened and I missed another. I had had a free morning to myself and I had taken advantage of it by using the time to just chill before having to go to work in the afternoon. I’d completed 2 edges before I went to work and was feeling quite pleased with myself. Once I’d got home I had more work to do and the hours quickly disappeared whilst I sat there I knew I was slacking on the edging and thought the best way to achieve that was to edge whilst getting the last deposit of cum later that night in bed.

Yes I know I was doing it again taking a risk and we all knew where that had got me the last time but I really thought the odds where better stacked in my favour this time as even if I didn't get the cum I would still have achieved the last edge of the day. I hadn’t counted on getting as frustrated as I did when I didn’t have a willing partner to deliver the cum though, grr someone was tired and I had a slight outburst which then added to my frustration, I tried to carry on playing with myself but all I could think of was another day of edging ahead and the likelihood of cum today would be slim due to my outburst.

In hindsight I should have just emptied my head of frustrations and respected the fact my OH was tired instead of thinking to myself he doesn't know the meaning of tired and I have some serious needs right now. I let myself down and Sir and I'm disappointed in having done so.

When I woke this morning my thoughts turned to the missing edge, and it actually crossed my mind to make something up but then I wouldn't have been able to do a write up on something that never occurred and I can’t lie to save my life instead I buried myself back in the duvet with my laptop and ignored the fact whilst emerging myself with NN and work.

All was going well till I received my morning email I read the subject title, ‘Missing One’ and felt my stomach sink. Instantly I knew I wasn’t going to get away with it. I read the mail my eyes falling to the line that read “when I get home I shall have time to think of a suitable punishment”. I hastily replied explaining what I had done and apologising before telling Sir I would await his punishment.

I can’t explain what I was feeling except that I was utterly disappointment in myself for failing at my duty. I sat on my bed hoping that once he read my mail he would feel the sorrow in my words and understand that I was indeed sorry.

My mailbox pinged and I sat reading His words

“Such a shame you failed again, 2 days in a row which is just inexcusable. For now you will go out with your egg inserted and wear it until you come home later. While you're working every 30 minutes you will place your breasts on the edge of the worktop and strike them 10 times each with a kitchen implement. I will think of something more fitting and more considerable later.”

Seeing Sir write that I had failed again just made my disappointment greater. I could sense the look in His eyes and I felt a need to be able to pick up the phone and explain myself better, to tell Him I was sorry, to say thank you for overlooking the failed edge from Sunday, to ask for His forgiveness in my failing again, to just hear His voice so that I could tell just how badly I had messed up. I wanted some sort of reassurance from Him that or though I had failed once again it would be alright.

The last sentence of his mail read asking if I had edge yet made me hesitate in replying, would the fact that I hadn’t go against me even more, the fact I had not prioritised the edging above my laziness of the last few hours weighed on my mind as I closed down NN and the other screens and focussed solely on replying to Sir and then my first edge of the day.

I cleared the bed of the laptop, straightened out the sheets and then took my dildo, vibe and nipple clamps out of their box and placed on the bed. Sitting down on the edge of the bed I took hold of the nipple clamps and applied them to my nipples making sure to tighten them that little bit more than normal.

I didn't feel like I could or should enjoy this edge instead I was angry and disappointed in myself and possible even feeling shame for letting Sir down. My mind full of different emotions trying to reason with all that was in it.

Struggling with my feelings I stood up and pushed the dildo straight into my pussy holding it there as my pussy registered the force of it. I spread my legs further straighten my back and began the counting of each hard thrust. 1,2,3.....12,13,14....25,26...37,38,39....Each thrust making me aware of just how hard I was pushing the dildo into myself, I ignored the arousal welling up inside, this edge I was determined not to let it get the better of me. I counted to 75 before my clit xxxxxx me to feel the pleasure it was getting, I took out the dildo and laid on the bed turned on my vibe and inserted it having turned it the highest of settings knowing it was going to take my clit to the edge even more.

I let it take over me gripping the bed with my hands as my thoughts spoke out.

"I will not cum, I don't deserve to cum, I will take it all as I deserve nothing less, You deserve nothing less but my best, I'm sorry"

My hips bucking at the vibrations wanting to allow them the pleasure of flooding my body but I wouldn't let them, my hands turn to my breasts picking up the clamps and tugging them, feeling the pain as I pulled them hard, the clamps showed no sign of slipping and I pulled harder gasping as my nipples stretched painfully, I held them there taking my time to breathe deeply, I would not let the delicious ache in them distract me, my clit sent out a shudder, it wanted more and with that I pulled the clamps that bit more making them release my nipples.

"Oh god", that hurt but the aching try's to fight the pain making me turn the vibe off leaving it in my throbbing wet pussy while I take the time to lay there and register every little feeling ebbing over me.

Edge one completed I inserted my egg before getting dressed. My thoughts turning back to the punishment that would be awaiting me later.

Finally after years of being told I actually had a moment of total clarity today and realised that my Master is right (when isn’t he ) it’s not all about the orgasm. Yes orgasms are amazing, it is what most people set out to achieve when it comes to sex or playing. But how many people actually stop and focus on the feelings and sensations that occur during the build up to one?

As you all know I have been deprived from orgasms for the last week and I have been finding it hard going. This morning when I woke I lay in my bed feeling grouchy. I didn’t want to get up and face the day lots of little things had built up and I was laying there getting in more of a grump with myself. My thoughts turned to completing my first edge of the day and for the first time this week I physically couldn’t bring myself to touch my aching pussy the desire to have an orgasm far outweighed the want to bring myself so close knowing I couldn’t go that final step.

I got up determined that once I had got the mornings meetings out the way my mood would have lifted and I could focus properly on myself.

I had just finished getting dressed when my Master appeared online, Saying good morning he left me to type up my report from last night’s cum. I sighed thinking he was expecting my first edge report and told him that I hadn’t edge yet and I was grouchy. He asked me what was making me feel like this and I explained that lack of sleep, too much work, my parcel tracking number not actually tracking anything and the fact that I was sexual frustrated as well as missing him last night (my first admission that I actually was in a strop for not being around in time to see him) all seemed huge things when I hadn’t slept well. He told me that he was at home all day so could find something to occupy my mind, looking at my list of things the conclusion was that there was little I could do about any of it and to let it go the work stuff would get underway tomorrow and the sexual frustration we could work on.

To begin with I needed to think of how I was going to keep myself stimulated whilst going to my meeting and picking up a not so exciting parcel from the sorting. My immediate thought was there is no way I can handle anything near my pussy so that left me with my breasts. I quickly removed my top and bra changing into a shirt I applied my clamps to my already hard nipples and buttoned it up looking down at myself I quickly realised there was no way I could sit across from a client without poking their eyes out and so requested that I removed the clamps and just went without my bra. Thankfully he accepted my request and I happily went off to complete my tasks.
The meeting was successful and I gain 3 new orders and no eyes were hurt during this time

On arriving home I sat down and made a start on my quotes and orders trying to get things done as quick as possible and realizing just how much work I’ve got to do in the next few weeks had me sighing, my master heard this and told me to pack it in take my top off and apply my breast bars.
Chuckling as I dug in my wardrobe I dutifully removed my top and applied my steel breast bars tightening them up before sitting back down and continuing with my lists this time with a smile on my face and no sighing. I completed them quickly wriggling around in doing so.

Master then told me to pull down my jeans and knickers and thrust my vibe inside me 50 times; at this point as usual I started stalling. I’m not sure why but every time it’s the same I am requested to do something and I come over all giggly I don’t mean to its just my way of dealing with the anticipation of what’s going to come next. Thankfully it didn’t last long and I was soon sat with my legs spread wide my stalling had upped the number of thrusts to 100 and so I began the counting whilst plunging my vibe deep into my pussy. Taking note of my Master’s words and losing the rhythm to take time and care over every single thrust.

Once I had got to 100 I was then told to stand up and continue pushing the vibe into my now wet pussy, counting every single thrust out loud as I did. 10, 50 and then 100 thrusts past by which point I was dripping wet and bouncing on my tiring legs every so often my master would request that I give myself 10 quick deep thrusts before continuing on by the time I passed 300 thrusts my mind was starting to lose count confused between how many thrusts and I had done. Master reminded me when needed thankfully and then the cycle got faster and faster 15 fast then 20 fast then 25 fast thrusts into my aching pussy that was now slick with my juices once I had got to 500 I was allowed to drop the vibe and replace it with my fingers something I was grateful of doing much more with the vibe and the growing orgasm would have took over.

I stood before him thrusting my fingers into my pussy, feeling my juices flowing freely around my fingers before I was allowed to lie on my bed before my legs turned to jelly from all the trembling. Laying there with my legs spread wide for him I took time to push my fingers deeper into myself wanting Sir’s fingers next to mine wanting his fist to be plunging deep and hard into me stretching my pussy to accommodate his hand, pulling my nipples as the pleasure from my pussy travelled over my body, gasping and wanting nothing more than to have a cock inside of me.

“Now lay there and hold your pussy wide for me”

I’m begging to have a cock to be in my pussy, needing it filled wanting to show Sir just how needy my pussy is right now, to have cum dripping out of every single one of my holes.

“Slide your butt plug in”

“Yes Sir”

Getting my glass butt plug I moisten it with my pussy juices before slowly twisting and turning it into my tight arse, gasping as it fills me and then taking hold of the breast bar pulling it until my breasts come free.

“Sir I want to be fucked”

“Sir I need to be fucked, No Sir I would never refuse anything inside my pussy”

Holding my pussy wide begging sir to let me cum, begging to have my pussy filled in with ever way he saw fit.

“Sir I want you fist inside of me stretching me wide, filling me completely”

God how I love the feel of his fist pushing deep into my pussy, slowly easing it in stretching me wide, pushing deeper into me as I moan and wither impaled on him.

Replacing my fingers with my vibe once more I find myself begging to come.

“Sir please may I cum, Sir please allow me to orgasm, Sir I need to cum please”

The feelings inside growing more and more as I hear my voice begging for the release of the orgasm, hearing just how needy I am wanting nothing more than to cum over and over again to allow the feelings to overtake my body. My pussy pulses as electric tingles flow from my nipples down over my body connecting with my engorged clit, my juices trickling out down my leg, my mind spinning with every sensation.

On and on I went pushing myself as close as I dare to the brink of orgasm, feeling every little shudder inside of me and all the time begging to cum begging to be allowed to achieve that orgasm that was so badly needed.

Begging to have a cock in my pussy, in my arse and in my mouth wanting to taste Sir’s cum as he allows me to have his cock in my mouth. Wanting and needing every hole filled to have cum dripping over my body as I lay there like the true slut that I am.

Grasping my throat and squeezing the air out of me.

“I would do anything Sir if you let me cum”

There is passion in my voice now, true desire to orgasm, to many feelings taking over my body so that all I can do is lay there begging for Sir’s permission to cum.

And then

“Now lay there holding your pussy open wide for me, exposed for all to see. Ready and desiring for any cock to slide into me, to kneel over your face and fuck your mouth, to lick any pussy and taste their juices, to have cocks wanked over you. Now tell me how it feels”

I lay there imagining it all, the cocks thrusting into my holes, the cum dripping on my body the pussys before me to lick and taste as much as I want all the time my eyes on Sir’s seeing his approval.

“Oh it feels good Sir, It excites me, and it makes me feel like the true slut that I am, to be used by whoever you wish for their pleasure, your pleasure and my pleasure.”

And there right in that moment came clarity. After all this time finally I saw that as my breathing calmed and the feelings started to slow I didn’t need an orgasm. I was content and I hadn’t cum I had devoured every single sensation inside of myself, voiced all my needs and yet hadn’t been granted that much longed for orgasm and it felt right oh so right.

Well it wasn't in my arse but happy to say I'm one step closer to being allowed to orgasm

Having led the OH upstairs I proceeded in getting my much needed 2nd deposit of cum. I had been hinting all night that I was horny as hell and or though I didn't get my arse fucked like I was wanting I did give his cock a long slow suck whilst playing with myself resulting in a delicious mouth full of cum.

*licks*

At the start of the year I thought I would have at least one New Year’s resolution that I could keep to, we all make them and at least half of them get broken by the end of the month so I gave myself what I thought would be an easy one to orgasm at least 4 times a week.

Yep I thought hell this one’s not going to get broken and it will also keep a smile on my face. All was going well up until last week; I had achieved 4 orgasms weekly with the exception of one week where I fell short by one.

I know what you’re thinking how can it be hard for me not to have at least 4 orgasms during the course of a week, 7 whole days to fit in 4 measly orgasms hell I can achieve this in 1 single day if I wanted to but last week my master gave me an added task to run alongside my resolution.

To help me keep my focus He suggested that I should keep a record of when I came and post a status once a week when I had had my 4 orgasms so everyone could see I was sticking to my resolution also to start a blog to keep a record of my achievements detailing the orgasms and how I had brought myself to cum along with this I was also to think of a way to reward myself when I had accomplished my quota for the week but also a way to punish myself if I didn't accomplished them. I mulled this over and agreed that rewarding myself would be an added bonus, smugly thinking I'm never going to fail at this one and not only will I enjoy orgasms a plenty but treats as well

I chose to suggest a new toy each month and even a spa day to relax with little things but something to look forward to and also that new pictures every month would keep me on target Punishments would include a set about of strikes with a flogger to each breast.

Then came the next part of my Master's seemingly easy request, yep I had thought things were going too much in my favour and everything was looking to me much more pleasure than anything else for me.

My inbox pinged and as I read his request I sat and grinned mmm this is so doable to keep my focus I was told not to cum again until I had someone's cum in my mouth. I was however to bring myself to the edge 4 times every day until I had done so so that it was constantly on my mind and to email him with a report every time I edged.

Now if you know me well enough you will know that there is nothing I like more than having cock in my mouth. It is my all-time pleasure and I thought I would have this in the bag, the edging was also somewhat easy as I thought my the end of that day I would have cum in my mouth have edged 4 times and achieved my orgasm that by this point I was craving.

The day flew past in a flurry of working and edging but when it came to getting cum in my mouth I failed it was all going well but somehow my OH wanted to cum over my breasts, I kept going back for his cock but he was determined and pulled out of my eager mouth and exploded over my tits! Well to say I was frustrated was a understatement not only had I been sucking eagerly on his cock but I had been playing furiously with my clit certain that I would be able to orgasm that night so when he came I laid there exhausted and frustrated beyond believe my pussy aching from the pulsing craving to explode into a delicious orgasm aching to be set free. I went to sleep that night having failed and realising I had another day ahead of me edging but nothing more.

The morning came and I was faced with edging again the day went well and I achieved all 4 edging sessions reporting back to my master each time. That night came and alas no cum in my mouth by the 3rd morning my body was craving for an orgasm the amount of toys I had gone through edging myself was getting ridiculous and I was starting to get grumpy at the lack of orgasm.
I had what I thought was a fool proof plan I had a 2 party's to attend that day as well as a hectic work schedule that morning but I thought to myself if I can get 2 edges in before I headed out then by the time I got home I would be able to get my wicked way and have cum in my mouth by the end of the night eliminating the need to edge 4 times and achieving the holy grail of orgasms. I decided not to tell of my cunning plan and put it into action.

Big mistake due to having to escort one family member home after having one to many I left my OH at the party with a free bar by the time I got back it was pretty clear that there would be no action that night and by the time I got to bed no energy to fit 2 more edges in I went to bed utterly disappointed and not looking forward to the next morning.
I had typed out an email apologising for not completed all 4 edges but for some reason I made the decision to delete it and ignore the fact that I hadn’t edged 4 times and keeping my fingers crossed that my master would go easy on me knowing that I had had a busy day.
I was wrong I shouldn’t have taken a gamble and a big one at that. I received an email detailing my punishment. Firstly my edgings were reduced to 3 times a day so that I would have no excuse not to fit these in and then the twist for missing 2 edging sessions I would now have to miss 2 opportunities to orgasm but he would be lenient on this…. I was to obtain cum in my mouth, on my body or in my arse BUT not my pussy, I was to do this 2 times on two separate days without cumming and report both of these to my master in the hope that they gain his satisfaction and then I would get my permission to cum the next time I got cum on or in me. The edging was to stay and every time I did edge it would remind me that had I not been so silly I could have been back to cumming when I wanted.
Another day went past and no hint of cum in sight frustrated beyond belief and then yesterday after a wonderfully stimulating day where I had got to the point of losing brain cells I needed to cum so made I got what I set out for cum on my breasts woo hoo never have I been so pleased to have my tits covered in hot cum I sent some pictures for approval and slept well waking up early this morning feeling optimistic and edging straight away. I’m one step closer to being able to orgasm again hopefully tonight I can entice my OH to fuck my arse so that my next blog entry will be to let you all know that I am back in the world of orgasms!!