So I occasionally worry about leaving comments on peoples pics or profiles a little too often. Same for status updates. Mostly involving people who have made me feel comfortable in some way. Perhaps in a way they don’t even realize. Usually it is by being funny, kind, intelligent, or a combination of all three. All are attributes I find my self drawn to.

Which is why I always worry about making others uncomfortable in any way. So please don’t hesitate to just nicely tell me to stop.I won’t take offense. I know full well that I am not everyone’s cup of tea .

Today would have been my friends’ Birthday. I’m trying my best to remain upbeat and positive but seem to be losing that battle. Negativity hasn’t ever suited me well yet it keeps rearing it’s ugly head. I can’t help but think I’ve let him and myself down. That I’m not holding up my end of our unsaid bargain. Not living without looking back.
Maybe i’m just feeling sorry for myself. Maybe I’m just thinking too much. Either way I can’t seem to shake this today.

Some of the best and easiest to follow advice my father ever gave me: Don’t Be A Dick.
Follow it and you will always feel better about yourself. Trust me.
He was wrong about a lot of stuff. However, this wise nugget has never failed me.

Something amazing happened today. I was out grabbing lunch when a girl I recognize but don’t really know came up to me. She offered to buy my lunch. Of course I thanked her and told her it wasn’t necessary, I had already paid.
She asked me if I had a second to talk. Then went on to tell me that something I had done for her early on during lockdown had made such a big impact on her. That it made the difference between her and her daughter having a good meal or not. Then she told me that now that she has her job back, she often pays it forward. As much as she can.
She hugged me and went about her day. I’m not gonna lie. When I got to my car I cried a bit. Not wanting her to see.
Every one of our actions have impact.
I’m so glad she felt comfortable enough to tell me.

“Find a way to be happy and surround yourself with people who will support what you do . People who make you smile.”
I found this in some of my old song idea books.
It is pretty much what I have done. How I have structured my life..
I have to remember to trust myself more and follow my own advice.

Wondering how many of the people on here realize how much their words and thoughts made a sad boy smile during a rough patch. It is a good reminder to myself to always remember that you never know what someone may be dealing with. That your small actions or kind words can make a difference. A reminder that I can always do better.
If you ever catch me being unkind…please call me out on it.

It will be three weeks tomorrow. In some ways it feels like three minutes. In another like three years. You are still dominating my thoughts. Writing them down is my attempt to purge them. Surfing helps a little ,with the exception of the times I still catch myself looking over to see if your car is in the lot. Light of day was this weekend. The sets were killer. I miss reliving them with you. Hearing your critique. Telling me if I sucked.
Tomorrow is just another day.

I’m feeling a bit proud of myself today. This day felt like my first actual productive day in the past two weeks. I finished lyrics that have been eating at me for quite a while now. To most that might not seem like a big deal but I’ve had a rough few weeks. So I’m going to actually cut myself a break and say”yeah me”. It feels nice for a change to not be my own biggest critic.
If anyone can take anything from this, I’d say to remember you are only human.Take pride in small victories.

Recent events in our lives have my friends talking about deep things. Last night the question was asked, “How do you want to be remembered?”. I sat and listened. Took mental notes as people I love shared their thoughts. I know myself well and If it is what they want, I will carry them with me everywhere I go. I will dazzle others with tales of funny times, good times, tender times. I will help them live on.In every way that I can.
I know I am a lucky man. Luckier than I have any right to be. I have many friends that I love with every ounce of my being. I also don’t ever doubt that they love me. Still, when it was my turn to answer I couldn’t . I couldn’t tell them that my answer is that I don’t. I don’t care to be remembered. When I’m gone I just want someone else to fill my space. To be to them whatever it is they needed from me. To leave without a trace. Just gone.
I want my friends living in the moment. Looking always forward to better things. Not siting around thinking about me.
Selfish? Maybe. To quote a song I love, “You cant put your arms around a memory.”