PantyPirate's Recent Statuses
Mon, 29-Jan-24 12:04 PM
(80 days ago)
I brought a new pair of shoe's, but somethings wrong with them. When I tried them on, one of them isn't right 🤔
Sat, 27-Jan-24 11:43 PM
(82 days ago)
I brought a book on abdominal pain but it was damaged, someone had removed the appendix 😕
Sat, 27-Jan-24 5:54 PM
(82 days ago)
I always by lube whenever I buy a cucumber. It's better to be thought of as a weirdo than a vegetarian 😕
Sat, 27-Jan-24 4:48 PM
(82 days ago)
I started a new job today, it's making ok products in a satisfactory.
Thu, 25-Jan-24 9:16 PM
(84 days ago)
I told my wife I've got a problem, she said no, we've got a problem, we're a team, a couple, a unit, your problem is my problem, I said ok, we got your sister pregnant...
Thu, 25-Jan-24 6:35 PM
(84 days ago)
Why does drinking 8 pints of water in a day seem unfeasible, yet downing 8 pints of beer in a couple of hours seems reasonable 🤔
Thu, 25-Jan-24 11:04 AM
(84 days ago)
My girlfriend came into the bedroom in some new underwear, I said that looks nice, is it satin? She said no, I've only just put it on 😏
Mon, 22-Jan-24 4:04 PM
(87 days ago)
I was thinking about giving up flashing, but I've decided to stick it out for one more year 😁
Sun, 21-Jan-24 9:01 PM
(88 days ago)
Do you know why humans can't hear dog whistles? Because dogs can't whistle 🤷♂️
Sun, 21-Jan-24 11:39 AM
(88 days ago)
I love putting on fresh, warm underwear, straight out the dryer 😊 it's also fun looking around the laundrette and guessing who it belongs too 🤣
Fri, 19-Jan-24 2:55 PM
(90 days ago)
Right, I'm off out. I know it's still early, but I like to have 5 or 6 practice beers before I start drinking 👍
Mon, 15-Jan-24 7:49 PM
(94 days ago)
I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower but it came out all blurry, apparently I have selfie steam issues 🙃
Sat, 13-Jan-24 7:04 PM
(96 days ago)
I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, went back, got distracted, I have no idea whats going on, is this my coffee? I need to pee 😫
Sun, 7-Jan-24 7:06 PM
(102 days ago)
Hey AGR did you get my e-mails over Christmas? Your so bad at replying, I don't know if you got them and haven't replied or you didn't get them 🤣
Wed, 3-Jan-24 3:59 PM
(106 days ago)
Thu, 11-May-23 1:21 PM
(343 days ago)
What's the magic words to get what you want? "I'm offended"
Thu, 11-May-23 2:19 PM
(343 days ago)
Did you know, if you put you're foot down on the gas and the break pedal at the same time, you're car will take a screenshot.
Thu, 11-May-23 9:13 AM
(343 days ago)
When the waitress finally came over she apologised for my wait, so I stormed out, it's non of her business if I'm fat.
Wed, 10-May-23 12:30 PM
(344 days ago)
I asked how much it would cost to gather a singing group for my birthday, she said do you mean a choir? Ok how much to acquire a singing group for my birthday?
Tue, 9-May-23 7:33 PM
(345 days ago)
If tomatoes are fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?
Tue, 9-May-23 6:28 PM
(345 days ago)
I would consider polite and courteous, that if one of my statuses is deleted by a moderator, that I am at least informed of, why, and by whose request. I don't consider this unreasonable.
Tue, 9-May-23 6:03 PM
(345 days ago)
Do you think if we renamed "brains" to "apps" people would start using them?
Mon, 8-May-23 9:31 PM
(346 days ago)
Don't waste words on people who deserve your silence, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.
Pete_from_Aus,
Awesome_Tits,
k12agy1,
spunky4u,
Tasties and 8 others, AdeleGingerRaine, fetish69, tugking70, smitten4u, still_happybelle, ZippyMilf, TopCat57 and luvtub like this
Mon, 8-May-23 9:49 AM
(346 days ago)
Bad luck to the GBR Wheelchair team, narrowly missing out to France 49-55 in the final, it was a great run and a brilliant final but well done to now back to back European winners France.
Mon, 8-May-23 1:07 AM
(347 days ago)
A book I wrote on poltergeist got published, apparently its flying off the shelves
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